It’s often said that every pregnancy is different. In the same way, every pregnancy loss is different. How do you grieve for a person that you never met? A person who doesn’t have a birthday? A person who doesn’t have a name?
Every time a person loses a pregnancy, she loses that child. And when she doesn’t have any living children, she also loses the dream of being a mother.
I’ve heard the consolation “at least you know you can get pregnant” many times. Here’s why it’s not helpful but actually quite hurtful and what to say instead.