(Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links which mean if you click through and buy any of the books or products I have recommended, I’ll receive a small percentage of the sale. These funds help support my blog and feed my dog.)
I read mostly for escape. I want to experience adventures in fantasy lands or swoon over a romance or laugh out loud at a character’s silly antics. Thus, I spend most of my reading time enthralled in fiction.
But I also know that reading can be therapeutic, soothing, and inspirational. Non-fiction books can be a huge help in troubled times. Reading about others’ experiences can help us through our own.
We are not alone on this grief journey, and these books are a reminder of that.
One of you lovely readers asked me a while back if I recommended any books for those experiencing pregnancy loss. I haven’t read many books on this topic yet. But, I have come across some books that I really do want to read.
It is helpful and hopeful to hear the stories of other mothers who have also experienced miscarriage or stillbirth.
Here are some books about pregnancy loss that I plan to read soon:
Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos by Lucy Knisley
This graphic memoir is brand new (published February 26, 2019) and chronicles Lucy’s experience with her successful pregnancy after a journey of infertility and multiple miscarriages. It also includes information about the history and science of reproductive health, midwifery, and more. It’s said to be a funny, informative and emotional read.
Through Not Around by Alison McDonald Ace, Ariel Ng Borbonnais, Caroline Starr
This is a collection of personal stories gathered on the website The 16 Percent (which I keep dipping into, but as you can probably guess, it makes me sob). These stories of infertility, miscarriage and pregnancy loss emphasize how we are not alone, and touch on the sadness, physical and emotional pain, and the humour and hope of these experiences. Published January 2019, all author proceeds from sales of Through Not Around will be donated to PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network), an organization at Sunnybrook Hospital dedicated to supporting families through pregnancy and infant loss.
Pregnancy Loss: Surviving Miscarriage and Stillbirth by Zoë Taylor
Having experienced repeated pregnancy losses, Zoe Taylor writes about the desire for answers, what experts know about pregnancy loss, how to be in a world that understands so little about pregnancy loss, trying again, pregnancy after loss, and tips on how to support others experiencing it. This book was published in 2010. I think it will likely be a very good read for me.
Before I sign off today, I must caution you: if you’re planning on buying a book for someone who has experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death please, please, please read it before you gift it. I say this because as wonderful and helpful as some books are to some readers, they can be painful or downright hurtful for others. I’ve read one book on this topic that was a very difficult read for me. It equated stillbirth or miscarriage of wanted pregnancies to abortion, the elective to end an unwanted or untenable pregnancy. These two subjects, one being a spontaneous ending of a pregnancy and the other being the termination of a pregnancy, are not comparable, in my mind. Yes, choosing an abortion is a huge thing and may come with its own kind of grief. But treating the grief that may come from making that choice as the same as my very wanted baby dying in my body and then me birthing him, is hurtful. To make matters worse, the book I read spent the vast majority of its text trying to convince the person who had had an abortion that God would forgive them if they followed the book’s instructions. All of that in a book that was touted to provide help and healing for people who had had a miscarriage or stillbirth. The friend who gifted the book to me was completely unaware and felt horrible. The back cover copy promised healing words for people who had experienced pregnancy loss. (For the life of me, I wish I could remember the title of the book or its author, but I’ve wiped it from my mind.)
Do you recommend any books that have helped you in your journey with pregnancy loss?