Sometimes the story doesn’t go how you expect. It veers off into a direction you never imagined it could go.

And tragedy hits.

And you have to figure out how to deal with the aftermath.

This is my story right now.

There won’t be anymore Baby Book Haul posts for a while. No more bump photos on Instagram. No planned nursery tour post or pictures. Instead, there will be more tears, more quiet days, more discussions on grief.

Because, I’m a mother. But I’m a mother who has no baby.

Last month, Baby Bookworm was born at 25 weeks. He was a beautiful baby boy. Perfect in every way. Except that he didn’t have a heartbeat.

I’m continuing trishajennreads during this time. My books and my blogging soothe my soul. But, as the content of this little blog was slowly shifting to include more posts about babies and motherhood, it may shift in a slightly different direction to include topics like grief. We’ll see. I really don’t know.

Many of you sent wonderful congratulations when I announced my pregnancy on Mother’s Day. I thank you for that.

Right now, I ask that if you’re a praying type, please pray for comfort for me and my family as we grieve the loss of this baby who was already so loved and longed for. If you have kiddos of your own, please give them an extra snuggle and an extra story tonight.

trishajennreads' black glasses

About Stillbirth

Stillbirth is the loss of a baby after 20 weeks. If a pregnancy ends before 20 weeks, it is considered a miscarriage. In Canada, about 8 in 1000 births are stillbirths.

There is often no answer as to why stillbirth happens. Sometimes it is due to an obvious problem like an issue with the placenta or umbilical cord. Sometime it is due to a genetic problem that may have caused a birth defect in the baby, or it is due to a health issue like diabetes or high blood pressure in the mother. Other times, doctors are unable to discover a cause. Stillbirth usually happens as a one-time event and doesn’t mean the mother can’t go on to have another pregnancy with a healthy baby.

For more information on stillbirth, see March of Dimes.

  1. Dearest Trisha Jenn,

    My heart is with you and your family – I know the ache in your heart and soul are not soon to be lifted but I was thankful to see you found a bit of grace in the distractions of reading and blogging. I can relate on that note – I’ve not transitioned through the loss you’ve felt now but I have had an extreme level of adversity in my personal life since my blog began five years ago; I only had 45 days of ‘blissitude’ before life suddenly became ‘real’ as they say! Two years ago this past November, Mum and I were in the ER and hadn’t known if we’d be celebrating Christmas and New Year’s without Dad or it he could come home and recover. Life never slows down, we’re hardly ever prepared for everything and medically – things can change so fast, you barely have time to :breathe: or even count your breaths because you have to brace yourself for what your not prepared to hear,…

    My blog became a saving grace for me over the years,.. this is the first year I’ve been able to start to reconnect with fellow bloggers who find equal enjoyment out of sharing their bookish lives. I had to pour everything into keeping my blog moving forward, even during the days/months I was at a bit of a loss if I was happy (overall) or simply ‘going through’ where life was taking me. A bit like how when your in the waves of the sea – sometimes you ‘let go’ and you let the tides pull you,…

    I pray in time your soul can find peace knowing your little boy is a light of joy – twinkling murmurs of love and one day, blessedly you’ll reunite with him. My prayers and sympathies are with you… tuck in close to your family and do only what feels right for you. Find your path but be gentle with yourself. Remember to find kindness and joy even if nothing feels right and only the salt of your tears give comfort. You’ll come through this but right now… you need time. Take a pause (from being online) or venture back when you feel it is working for you in a positive way. We’re here supporting you…

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